Getting married is one of the happiest occasions in a persons life. However, once you have shown off the engagement ring, booked the venue, bought the gown and of course hired the photographer there is the serious and sometimes complex business of the guest list.
Personally, and I am not even getting married, the thought of making a wedding guest list sends chills down my spine.
Once you have decided on how many loved ones will witness your nuptials it’s down to the nitty gritty of who! This could be quite easy or very difficult depending on if you have any family politics. Just a few things to remember when writing your list:
Be realistic to avoid stress later on. It may be that you have already chosen your intimate wedding venue because they only take up to fifty people. OR have chosen some lavish stately home or castle that can cater for up to 500 people. Think of it like this: the more guests you have the more your caterers will have to prepare, more favours, you see where I am going with this? Your budget can just disappear.
Don’t feel guilty. Your wedding list isn’t the same as your Facebook friends list. It probably won’t include your best friend when you were eight who you haven’t spoken to since you left school but is still on your book of faces. This next one applies to both family and friends – have I spoken to them in the passed year? If the answer is no then you probably won’t need to write them an invite. Also don’t feel obliged to invite your whole Spin class. Just because you have been working out with these people for twelve months in preparation for your big day doesn’t mean that they have earnt a place at your wedding breakfast.
Children. There is a lot to consider when inviting the small people. Do you hire an entertainer or childminder? Will your caterer provide child friendly meals? Will you be giving them a favour bag of colouring books, crayons etc? Or will you be saying no children under the age of 16? Lots to think about and of course, money involved too. This won’t really work if you have your own children or a flower girl or page boy.
Family Politics. This is a fairly common problem and as a photographer I come across this a lot. It might be that your parents split up some twenty plus years ago and still struggle to be in the same county let alone the same room or may be your uncle borrowed your Dad’s drill six months ago and hasn’t returned it. What ever the story, remember this is YOUR day. No-one can take this from you. But on the other side to this you also don’t want to be on edge wondering if something is going to kick off after a couple of glasses of fizz!
There are so many additional factors to writing the guest list for your wedding. Don’t feel bad about those you don’t invite or get invited to, there is always a good reason – and being family isn’t always one of them!